She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
