hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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