Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
