my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
