i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
