They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do herpes really smell.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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