I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dicks are not precious.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
