i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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