question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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