It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
