even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
