We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
