Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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