he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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