Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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