Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
