I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
