Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
