Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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