i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
