The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
