ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
