Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
