I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
