Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I CAN MOONWALK!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
