I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
