Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
