How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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