It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
