Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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