first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
