He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
