Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
