i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
