Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
