he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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