Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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