i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize