I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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