We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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