return my video game
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My friends, they love my intelligence
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
