just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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