i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
