If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
