Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
