Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
