What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize