Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
