Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
