wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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