Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
