there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
