i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
