she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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