sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
