HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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