i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
