I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
