how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
