oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
