just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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