whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What drink are we having for lunch?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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